Sunday, May 1, 2011

On the wane

It's been a very patchy couple of weeks, and I'm still feeling less than 100%. My legs are feeling a lot better since the foam roller entered into play but almost everything else is feeling a little worse.
I made it out for the monster long run, coming in at 18.66ks in 2:47:11. It was a mammoth effort and I really felt nervous before heading out for that one, panicky and unsure about myself. But, I made it.
Maybe it was due to the five-day long weekend that my long run was in the middle of, maybe I was just a little too pleased with myself...either way, I didn't make it out for another run until Thursday. Non, non, non awesome. I like to head out Tues/Thurs/Sun, with other days as optional extras. But yeah, motivation, energy and nutrition have all been low and I find myself more than a little unenthused.
I did put in a nice 6K's on that Thursday run, and just shy of 7K's on Sunday, so I think that's a start.
I'm trying to find a happy medium, where running is less of an all-consuming passion and more just something I love, something that I do, because the intensity of that passion tends to wax and wane. When I'm in love, smashing kilometres and loving it, that passion can be a lot easier to sustain. When I'm doing it hard, feeling fat and hopeless, and worried about my abilities, it's obviously a lot harder to feel that love, and my attention seems to divert to other things. So if I can learn to see it as a granted rather than a lofty, endlessly-chased goal, I can hopefully gain some perspective and be able to incorporate it into my life long term.

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